what's so good about picking up the pieces | xzuun

[harlow]

j u s t g i v e h e r b a c k t o m e y o u

know i can't afford the medicine that feeds what i need

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g79/Juliart/background_black.jpg');,true][cs=2] I C A N 'T F O R G E T Y O U

[atrb=width,240] She knew it. The day that someone had asked her to model for them she knew that she was going to run into trouble. So why had she accepted? Simply because she wanted to make sure that she kept the money in balance, so that she could do something other than live inside her secluded house and the coffee shop and maybe even learn to enjoy life a little more than she had beforehand. Now look what had happened. Because of it all she was going to get searched and someone might even look and dig far enough back into her past that they see that she had a child, that she was in the orphanage and they would also see all the places she moved around within ten months. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t leave Caroline now, especially when she was finally learning the definition of the phrase settling down. Harlow was over reacting, but she couldn’t help it because of all the fear that was pent-up inside of her. The majority of the time it sat, stable, in the back of her mind until trigger words or ideas popped into her mind causing her to slip into unease. But now she was completely flustered and couldn’t contain it anymore. Previously she had just been home, relaxing after working an early morning shift until she got a call from someone who she recently gave a modeling portfolio to. He had informed her that he was interesting in shooting a few photos of her for a clothing company his friend was investing in and that he just needed to do a brief back up check with previous employment records to make sure that she wouldn’t be difficult to work with on set. Of course, Harlow knew she wouldn’t be difficult and all of her jobs would be able to vouch for that but the entire idea of a back ground check freaked her out, especially when the idea of someone question the few years void in between the time she came out of the orphanage and moved to Caroline. Wouldn’t most people be skeptical of that black hole? Wouldn’t they try to look deeper to find out why there was so much information missing from a year’s duration of time? In attempt to breathe and calm down, Harlow found herself going on a walk. It wasn’t something she did a whole lot except when she went to and from work or else had to pick up groceries. It was hardly a bad day outside with the sun shining and little tuffs of clouds decorating the blue sky, really it would be a perfect day for a walk but the scared Harlow couldn’t even bring her mind to appreciate it since her mind was stuck in the same place. Maybe if they found out about everything things would be okay. They’d just think to themselves “oh she made a mistake when she was younger and had a child, nothing to worry about” not that they even knew why she had a child. But it wasn’t even them knowing that freaked her out. He would just be one photographer. Maybe he wouldn’t tell anyone. No. This was Caroline, he would most likely tell everyone because for some reason it was in this town’s blood to share everyone’s personal stories, to be inside of every one’s business, to live inside that person’s life as if they were watching them slowly fail on television. If this photographer knew he would tell everyone, it would ruin Harlow. All the questions and her inability to answer them. All the scorning looks. All of the judgement that would be looked down at her and the preaching… Ouch. Looking up, Harlow hadn’t even noticed that she full on pelted into a man. She stumbled forward and fell with him to the ground. “Look what your thoughts are doing now,” She started thinking, attempting to hold back any tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to start crying in front of this stranger. Her hands touched the cement and at first she just brushed away any sign of scrapes or bruises and then she reached for the hand of the man. “I’m so sorry, I really… I just…” Harlow tried to make some sort of explanation but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was so struck into emotion it was impossible for her to say anything. She stood up hoping that she didn’t look as pathetic as she felt, hoping that she wouldn’t suddenly break and hoping that she could find her mind somewhere else at least for this moment.

[atrb=width,100] words , 773 words tagged , xzuun notes , taadaa i finally wrote it all out [:

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… For Xzuun, today was the day that everything had gone right. Work had been long and simple. The customers were cooperative and understanding and the staff had done everything right to the best of their ability. No one had anything negative to say to anyone, and he’d gotten some pretty decent tips himself. There were days like this just often enough to make everything else okay for a little while. As always, he knew it wouldn’t last too long, but it was long enough for him to know another day like it would come. It took things like this to remind him life was worth living, and it did it rather well, so needless to say, he was actually in a rather good mood when he left work that day. He had had a rather short shift that day, so it was before L’Or’s dinner rush that he found himself walking down the mostly empty streets of Caroline. The streets were always mostly empty, but people often appeared when least expected. Xzuun knew this fact well, since he seemed to enjoy the company of others significantly less than most of the other people in this little town. Good mood aside, Xzuun didn’t feel like eating dinner, so he didn’t make a beeline for anywhere in particular at first. Eventually, he decided that what he really wanted was to go explore the city and take in the sights he didn’t often find himself seeing. From L’Or downtown, he went down through the high class district and amused himself with the image of himself ever living in a place like that. He hated the thought of being contained to somewhere indoors, (in the past, he’d found that there had never been anywhere to hide inside) but there was something about those big houses that gave them the look of having plenty of spaces where he could be concealed if need be. Granted, he wasn’t a child anymore, and he should be able to take care of himself, but things never really seemed to work out that way. It was always important for him to have an escape route from everything, from houses like this to the people that tried to have a conversation with him. After meandering through all the streets bearing high class homes, he decided to do the same in the middle class area. He didn’t spend much time in any of the residential areas, but the time he did was typically in the low class region, since the people there were less likely to bother anyone. He didn’t know much what to expect in this area, but he knew that most of the people he worked with lived here, and they were all nice enough. He didn’t foresee anything too terrible happening here. The houses here weren’t nearly as extravagant as those in the previous district, so he didn’t look around near as much as he had done earlier. Instead, he walked the way he usually did, watching the ground in front of him rather than facing ahead. This insured he wouldn’t trip over anything, certainly, but it wasn’t very good for protecting himself against anything that might come hurtling toward him. Even when Xzuun heard the oncoming footsteps, he didn’t look up. It’s just a runner, he figured. They’ll go around me. They didn’t go around, and after a moment Xzuun felt someone run into him and found himself falling over backwards. The person fell on top of him, and the whole situation was rather uncomfortable, on the whole. The girl (for he had, by this point, been able to tell the gender of the person) jumped off of him and held out a hand to help him up, which he took. He was unhurt for the most part, just a bit sore from the fall, but nothing he hadn’t dealt with before. ”It’s alright, really. Don’t worry about it.”

[/color]

He would have liked for that to be the end of their interaction, and that they could each go their separate ways and have no further conversation and potentially never see each other again, but he noticed then how distraught she looked and couldn’t just leave her that way. He might not have liked talking to people, but that was only because they expected him to reply. But his silent nature made him an excellent listener, and maybe that was what this girl needed.

”Are...are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”[/color]

In all honesty, Xzuun hoped she would say no, and that she was fine, but he was willing to try to help her if he could. She was upset and alone and that was never a good place to be.
[/div]

© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
802 WORDS | NOTES: I'm so excited for them spilling everything oh my god.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Regardless of what her answer would be, Xzuun could tell that this girl was really not all right. She looked like she was falling apart and the stitches she had used to keep herself together were close to bursting. And then she lied about it and broke, and she looked so fragile and delicate and sad. Essentially, she looked like how he felt. Had he not understood how desperate it felt to be in a state like this, he might have been uncomfortable with her getting all emotional here in front of him. Something must have happened, though, to make her this way, and the idea of someone suffering to this extent was one thing he couldn’t stand. “No one is a lost cause,”

[/color] he told her, but he didn’t actually believe it. Xzuun usually saw himself as a lost cause, but that was something he was willing to accept. This girl seemed rather distraught at the idea of being a lost cause, so she needed to hear someone else tell her that everything would be okay. Or at least, that’s what he had to assume she needed, because that’s really all he could give.

“Nothing is ever as bad as you think it is,”[/color] he assured her, which was something he did believe, but could never make himself calm down with that knowledge. Maybe it was the simple effect of having someone else say it that could help.

For all Xzuun knew, he might not be helping at all. He hoped he was, though. There had to be something he could do.

“...I’m a good listener,”[/color] he offered. “You know. If you wanted to talk about it.”[/color]

Xzuun wondered how this girl’s past aligned with his own. He certainly had had his share of distressing situations. He hoped that fate (or whatever mysterious force was out there) had spared her some of the things he had dealt with.

He wasn’t sure if it was human nature or if it was just him, but he always assumed that his life was as bad as one could get, at least in the civilized world. Certainly, he accepted that things could be worse in other parts of the world, but he never considered that anyone in Caroline could have had worse luck in life. Seeing the girl in front of him now, however, made him question that theory.

But then...suppose they did share a similar past? What would that do for either of them? Xzuun knew outright that even if they had lived practically identical lives, he’d still feel completely alone. It was just the way he handled life. His mind told him that he was alone the same way that it told him that he was stupid and ugly and worthless. It had been drilled into him as a child and he didn’t know how to think otherwise.
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
502 WORDS | NOTES: This is really short, oh man. There's a good bit of dialogue, though, so hopefully that's enough for you to work with.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… To say that Xzuun was confused was a bit of an understatement. He didn’t know how to react when she started laughing. It reminded him a bit of being backed against a wall in the storeroom of L’Or by a woman with a gun who, even though she was telling him off for letting their child die and for breaking her heart, didn’t stop giggling and smiling the entire time. The sight in front of him was unpleasant, but the memory was worse, so he tried to focus on reality. He bit his lip as he waited for her laughter to stop. This was a fairly normal reaction to pressure, from what he understood. Hysteria. He knew that, at least in movies, slapping the person in the face was supposed to help bring them back to normal, but he didn’t think that that would be appropriate, considering he was a strange man that she’d never met before, and he wasn’t even sure if it would help. The media was known for distorting medical fact. The girl started crying as she laughed, which was rather depressing. He’d been there before, not knowing how to react to something and having emotions battling at the body’s expense. When he left his father’s house, he had spent all day fleeing the city where he’d grown up. Once he had reached Caroline, he felt safer and was glad, naturally, to be away from such a terrible place. Yet he had spent the night hysterically crying, completely unable to keep the emotion in anymore. It had been like everything he had felt over the years and kept bottled up was spilling out all at once. He cried until he was sick and out of tears, at which point he was so dehydrated he had needed to pull himself together and find something to drink somewhere. That was what this girl was feeling, he could tell. The emotions of who knows how long were all demanding to be felt at the same time, and that magnified them to the point of being uncontrollable. For a while, he remained standing after she sat down, but it felt awkward eventually, so he sat down beside her. He knew it would be inconvenient for anyone who might walk by, but surely they would understand if they saw how she felt right now. Xzuun didn’t know what to say to her wish for someone to make decisions for her, but he could empathize with her want for someone to have listened to her. If you didn’t have some place to let everything out, it would eat away at your insides until it weakened you to breaking. The problem was, it was hard to tell when you were broken or when you were just weak. He nodded slowly when she looked at him, showing that he was indeed still listening. There wasn’t much he could say when there was so much he didn’t understand, but he did hope that he could help her feel better anyway, if only by letting her get everything off her chest. When she stood up, he followed suit a moment later. “I’ve met crazier, I promise. You just sound upset to me, not crazy.”

[/color]

The thing about this conversation, though, was the fact that everything hit close to home. He knew exactly what she must be feeling, even if it was for different reasons than his own. He understood what it was like to believe oneself to be crazy because of what it must sound like to an outsider. Xzuun himself had never told anyone the whole story, but the pieces he had told Michael when he was trying to get a job had been bad enough. It was so hard to get around judgement in life, and after having gone through what he had (and, if he was guessing right, what she had), being judged by those ignorant to it all was almost worse than dealing with everything had happened.
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
670 WORDS | NOTES: I hope that last sentence made sense. It sounded better in my head.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… When the girl mentioned feeling eternally dirty, he knew exactly what she meant. It didn’t take the followup about being surprised by peoples’ actions or the comment about secrets and illegitimate children to make Xzuun realize that she, like him, had been raped, and the fact that he could relate made the pity he felt for her grow. No one should have to live with that feeling, and he knew that from experience. If he was honest with himself, Xzuun wanted to hear this girl’s story. He wanted to know why she was like this and who did it to her. He was willing to comfort her and listen to her and assure her that she wasn’t alone, but he wasn’t okay with asking her. He would never want anyone to ask him what he’d been through, so he flatly refused to do the same to anyone else. It would be hypocritical and wrong and incredibly unfair. But if she wanted to tell him, he would listen. He didn’t know if he would be able to tell her about himself in return, but he trusted her with the information he might give out. It was easier to trust those who were suffering. Anyone who seemed composed might be plotting something and no one would ever know. But those ravaged by emotion...it was easier to tell if they were lying. This girl was not, Xzuun could tell. “I understand. Really I do,

[/color] he assured her, but he was fairly sure that she wouldn’t believe him. It was hard for rape survivors to accept that they weren’t alone when the deed done to them was so isolating. It made one feel unclean and ruined and it was hard to be able to expose oneself to society for fear of being seen as impure, and thus deserving of the act that had made them this way.

Xzuun had always had a problem with thinking that way, that he deserved what happened to him. He could never find a reason strong enough for such hideous things, but he couldn’t believe that anyone would do something like that without reason. He must have deserved it, one way or another.

It was only recently, after a few years of calm life, that he realized that he hadn’t done anything, and that people were just cruel. After graduating high school and the only interactions that were necessary with others were with the people at the restaurant, he avoided all other people if he could help it. As she said, it was easier to be surrounded by strangers. You might have to pretend to be normal, but you weren’t lying to anyone that way. Not to their face.

He wondered for a moment when exactly this had happened to her. She didn’t look pregnant, so unless it was very recently, it must have been at least nine months prior to their meeting...

Really, though, it didn’t matter. It was a scar that would never go away, no matter how long it was ignored.
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
514 WORDS | NOTES: aww poor babies with their rape stories it's really sad augh.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Xzuun didn’t know why, but at her challenge, he found himself somehow enabled. It felt like she had searched the walls and found the secret door and, rather than forcing her way in, had simply turned the key and opened it. He wasn’t afraid of this girl because she was just as fragile as he was, and just as damaged. She had let him see a piece of her life, so it seemed only natural to do the same in return. It wasn’t a decision. It wasn’t something he had to convince him to do. He needed this. She needed this. They could help each other, at least for a little while. “When I was thirteen, I ran away from home,”

[/color] he began. He avoided the reason why, because that was another wound entirely. It was surprising enough for him to find speaking about this so simple without telling her his entire life story.

“It was the end of May, I’d just been expelled from school, and I was scared to death. I did what I could to be invisible, but no one is invisible in Caroline. I didn’t realize it, but I’d caught the eye of someone who would spend the next seven months watching me.”[/color]

Xzuun paused then and sighed, wondering why he was going into such detail. Couldn’t he have just said that he’d been raped as well and been done with it? It was getting harder to talk about now that he was getting closer to what really mattered. He bit his lip, willing himself to go on. It was for her, he reminded himself. If this helped her, just a little bit, then it was worth it.

“I couldn’t get a job until I turned fourteen at the end of October, so until then, I was starving and terrified and I didn’t know what to do. Turning fourteen and finding a place to work was my salvation. Thinking back, I don’t know how I lived that long. But I did it, and I was so thankful. I’m still thankful, honestly.”[/color]

Here came the tricky part. He’d been raped in a motel room that he had stayed in to avoid the cold of December, but he didn’t know how to explain that to her without first explaining that ordinarily, he slept in the thin space between two abandoned buildings. That wasn’t exactly the sort of thing he wanted to tell strangers, even ones that he was telling about his rape.

Eventually, he decided to just tell the truth and count on the fact that she wasn’t likely to ask questions.

“A few days after Christmas, I had intended to spend the night in a motel. It was cold, I was tired from work, and I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around me.

“I went into the bathroom to take a shower. When I came back out, several things happened at once. I was pushed over onto the bed and a needle was stuck into my arm and then everything went sort of cloudy. And there was this woman on top of me, saying these insane things I could only half understand because of whatever she injected into me. She said she had known from the first time she saw me that we were meant for each other, and just all these things. And I couldn’t move...”[/color]

He trailed off for a moment, wincing at the memories that this was bring back. He had trained himself to not think about it, and now the pain was fresh. Xzuun just counted on it being like pulling off a band-aid, however, and hoped that once he got through it, things would be okay again.

“She left when she was finished, and I spent the rest of the night trying to rid myself of the feeling. For a while I still couldn’t move because of the drugs, so I ended up lying there and crying until I ran dry. It was awful. Easily the worst night of my life. I felt tainted and broken and I didn’t know how to go back to being normal.

“I spent the next months trying to adjust. Trying to ignore the feeling that I didn’t belong with the rest of society because I was too unclean and disgusting. And then in September she came back.

“It was just on the streets that time, and I was perhaps more terrified that time because I thought I knew what was coming. I was scared she’d attack me this time and it would be public and I didn’t know if I could ever live with myself if if happened again.

“But she didn’t try to repeat what had happened last time. Instead, she handed me a baby and told me to take care of my daughter.

“I wanted to be able to tell myself it wasn’t mine, but it was, undeniably. She had my eyes and nose and I hated her. I hated this baby that had never done anything wrong against me. I needed to rid myself of this child, because after all I was fourteen years old and I could hardly take care of myself. A baby was impossible. So I left her on a doorstep somewhere in Caroline. I don’t even remember what house it was anymore because I blocked the memory away. But every day, just walking around Caroline, I’m forced to remember the little girl that lives in one of the houses, and how I’m half of the reason she’s alive. And if she’s not alive, I’m the whole reason.”[/color]

It was, perhaps, the most Xzuun had ever spoken all at one time. Certainly the most about himself and this experience. He expected to feel broken again, but something about telling this stranger who could understand made things okay.
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
1000 WORDS | NOTES: I am surprised that this post is so long but I'm kind of proud of the 1000 words exactly.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… Considering how he felt afterwards, Xzuun was mystified by the fact that he was able to get through the whole thing. He felt exhausted, completely wrung out and even a little sick. It was hard enough living it, but to think about it again after all these years... Nothing could ever be as bad as it had been, but this was close. And yet...now he didn’t have to carry it around by himself. Until today, he had been quite content with being the only person to know what had happened that night, besides the woman that had done it, and whomever she had told about it. He didn’t know any of them, so it didn’t matter. Just as long as he didn’t have to look any of them in the eyes and know they knew, it was okay. It didn’t make sense to him why he had been so willing to tell her, this stranger... For a little while, he felt sort of guilty for telling her. He didn’t want her to think he was only bringing it up to spite her, like a ‘my-life-is-worse-than-your-life’ sort of situation. That wasn’t what he meant, but he was scared she would think so. Even if his experiences had been worse, it wasn’t right to talk about it like it was something to brag about or be proud of. He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel after telling someone. The feeling of being dirty that he’d long since taught himself to ignore came back a little after thinking about it, and he felt tired from talking so much, but he still felt something that felt almost like relief. Of all the things he was feeling, the last one was the biggest shock. People often said that talking about one’s problems could help, but he never really believed it. He didn’t want to talk because that just brought the hurt back. When she said, “wow,” he assumed that she was doubting his story, that she was being sarcastic, and that she thought he had made it up. Xzuun started switching to defensive mode until she started apologizing. His first reaction was to tell her it was okay, but instead he just nodded, because really, there was nothing okay about what he’d been talking about. He wasn’t holding her previous judgements against her at all, of course. It wasn’t her fault. Xzuun knew he would have been skeptical too. “It’s okay. I understand.”

[/color] He didn’t think at all that she was overreacting. Any reaction at all was just the mind’s way of trying to move past what had happened, and if her mind was putting her into hysterics about it, there wasn’t much else she could do. It was okay. He’d been there, too.

“I’m sorry you had to go through the same thing. Nobody should have to have to deal with something that traumatic.”[/color]
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
501 WORDS | NOTES: I'm very pleased with how this roleplay turned out omg.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… No matter how long they stood there talking, it still felt weird to have spoken about it. Xzuun thought that probably, if they stood there until the end of time, he wouldn’t get used to having someone else know. Maybe he’d be better about it when the person wasn’t right there staring him in the face, but so far, he didn’t see things ever getting better. Still, he couldn’t shake the small feeling of relief from him. It was complicated. He didn’t know how someone could simultaneously regret something and be glad for it, but he did. He couldn’t help being at least a little curious as to the details of her situation. She’d been rather vague, but he didn’t blame her. He wouldn’t ask, of course. If she wanted to speak about it, she would. Clearly, she didn’t, and he accepted that. It was both strange and beautiful, having a stranger know. It wasn’t customary, obviously, to just start spilling one’s most personal experiences to someone one had only met that day. But with a stranger, there was no strings attached. You weren’t obligated to tell more than you wanted because they had no right to press you for information. You had no reason to trust them, and they respected that. And that was all the more reason to do it. Something along those lines. Xzuun was surprised that he could think things like that himself, and couldn’t see himself ever justifying anything like this again, but today, right now, this was what he told himself. “I know what you mean,”

[/color] he told her when she asked if he understood what she was saying. “This whole thing is really complicated.”[/color]

Xzuun didn’t exactly know what to do from here. It would feel strange to just leave now, but he didn’t frequent in going places with people, so that would be just as strange. It wasn’t as though he’d be interrupted by going somewhere, since he’d just been aimlessly taking a walk before, but still.


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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
347 WORDS | NOTES: This is really short, sorry. But I figure we're almost done so.

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[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border-radius: 1em; -moz-border-radius: 1em; background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2wom9du.png), width: 400px; height: 400px;] Sometimes I wish for falling, Wish for the release I’ll dance with myself, I drunk myself down, Found people to love, Left people to drown, I'm not scared to jump, I'm not scared to fall, there was nowhere to land, I wouldn't be scared at all… The street was strangely silent, besides the two of them. Xzuun didn’t spend much time in the middle class district, and maybe the streets were always this abandoned, but to him it felt strange. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed, but he didn’t think any cars had gone by during the entire duration of their talk. He would have expected this had been filming a movie, but in real life it was bizarre. “I’m glad to have helped,”

[/color] he told her. It felt like the most sincere response. ‘You’re welcome’ would have felt too impersonal. ‘It was nothing’ would have been a lie. Nothing seemed really to fit except for what he had said.

It was always awkward when people asked for his phone number. That happened far too much at work and he didn’t understand why, but the proposition was typically prefaced with ‘You’re hot,’ and followed by ‘so maybe I can see you sometime?’ so he imagined that it had something to do with them wanting--for some incomprehensible reason--to spend time with him. He didn’t see anything in himself that they could have wanted, so he always just told them no and went on with life.

Part of it was because he didn’t want these people pushing themselves into his life, but another part of it was that he didn’t have a cellphone. There was no need. He wasn’t close enough to anyone to need to talk to them constantly.

This was different then the people at work, though, because he didn’t feel a need to stay away from this girl. The combined anonymity of not knowing each other and speaking over the phone had its appeal.

Conveniently, there was a payphone just a little ways away from where he spent his nights. From what he could tell, he was the only one that ever used it, since the whole street was practically abandoned. He knew the number by heart, having written it on any document that required it.

He produced a pen from his pocket and took her hand to write on it. “A payphone. Much more suiting for an alias, don’t you think?”[/color] he said.

984-659-1210 -X
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© melly welly from caution 2.0 | LYRICS BY FLORENCE & THE MACHINE
378 WORDS | NOTES: If it's not right, pretend the number is suiting for a Canadian telephone. I'm an American and I'm ignorant to international telephone number ways. xD Also I'm sorry but if she doesn't have a crush on him after that last bit then something is wrong with her. Because that was sexy. Especially for him who works very hard to not have sex appeal.

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