even if we fall, we'll be okay | caleb

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time At present, Oliver was straddling Caleb’s lap, eyes closed, one hand on Caleb’s waist and the other in his hair, deaf to the sound of the other carnival goers that walked past the bench they were seated on. He was rather unconscious to their presence at all--his senses were too focused on Caleb. He heard only the small sounds of their kissing; lips pulling apart, sporadic breathing, tiny moans that demanded to be released. He could taste Caleb on his tongue and felt fire course through him. Oliver never could get used to how good it felt to kiss Caleb, no matter how long they were together. Things always changed just enough to keep him on his toes, so to speak. Evidently Caleb was also enjoying himself, since he wasn’t protesting the way he always did when Oliver tried something like this in public. The two had been at the carnival for only a few minutes when Oliver decided that life would be impossible without ice cream that instant, and so they’d found a bench on which to people-watch while they ate. After they had finished, Oliver had pulled the whole ‘you-have-ice-cream-on-your-mouth’ excuse to serve as permission to kiss him at first. It had escalated quickly from there, which brought them to where they were now. It was a good place to be, in Oliver’s opinion. However, there were endless amounts of time for this sort of thing. The carnival was only in Caroline for a short time, and who knew if they’d get back here again? As enjoyable as it was to get to show off his claim on Caleb, there were rides to be ridden and games to be played and displays to see. “We should stop,”

[/color] Oliver murmured as he moved his arms so that he could wrap them around Caleb’s neck, resting his forehead against Caleb’s and opening his eyes. One of his favorite things about this relationship was the physical closeness. It reminded him that this was real, that Caleb was real and that he was his, and it all made him ridiculously happy. He was in love with being in love, almost as much as he was in love with his boyfriend, which was saying something, since he loved Caleb an awful lot. “We have carnival things to do here.”[/color]

After a few moments in this position, he swung his leg over Caleb so that he was seated next to him where he’d been before this little scene. Looking back over at him, Oliver couldn’t help but start smiling. “I think I got it,”[/color] he grinned, referring to the ice cream that hadn’t really been there to begin with. “So now you can go out in public without being afraid of possibly having something on your face. You’re welcome.”[/color]

Having grown up in Caroline, Oliver had been to the carnival every year since infancy, and he knew Caleb had, too, except for when he’d been in the east at school. Still, no matter how many consecutive years they spent riding the same rides and eating the same foods, there was always something to occupy their time. And it was still one of the first times they’d been there together, after all. The first time had been two years ago just as friends, before Oliver even know that Caleb was gay, much less that he liked Oliver as something more than friends. Thinking about that time amused Oliver greatly, since he had the present to compare it to. They had been rather awkward friends, unable to find much in common with one another besides their home town, yet they kept trying. There was always something that had drawn them together, even though it was hard to say what exactly. Oliver was just glad it had and that Caleb had finally asked him out.

The carnival may have actually been when Oliver first started developing romantic feelings for Caleb. He’d always thought Caleb was attractive, of course, it was impossible not to when the boy looked the way he did. But it was then that he’d started to notice all the little things, the things that made Caleb more than just a pretty face who he went to school with. He fought with it for months and months, believing that Caleb was straight and he’d never liked having crushes on straight guys since that always led to disappointment. All and all, it had been a very confusing moment when Caleb had asked Oliver to date him. But it did make for a great birthday present. He’d never gotten a boyfriend for his birthday before.

Here, now, two years since those first feelings, Oliver couldn’t have been happier. Caleb was perfect, the house that they’d bought together almost a year ago was perfect, all of it was all Oliver could have ever wanted. And today, the love of his life had a day off to spend with him and they were going to do something different.

Lacing his fingers between Caleb’s, Oliver stood up. “Where do you wanna go first, Callie Bear?”[/color][/div]

Words: 883 Notes: fluff is so nice to be writing after all that augh. even if it is AU. Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] Usually, Caleb hated public displays of affection. Hand-holding, door opening and small kisses were fine. But full on making out? No. Caleb loved Oliver and would happily tell the world this, but in less physical means. He preferred displays such as this going on at home. You had to be careful in a small town, you'd get shot for looking at a boy the wrong way. It wasn't just that, either. Caleb worried about the people judging them and parents walking by and having to explain to curious children. He didn't want to cause other people discomfort. God, Ollie was lucky the carnival had loosened Caleb's hinges a little. And Ollies own certain charm helped a little as well. This was a place to be impulsive. All the sights and sounds provided a distraction to the two boys making out on a bench. Though, a certain amount of people glanced at the two of them, catching them in their gaze suddenly. Some wit curiosity, or amusement, but many more with scorn. For once, Caleb wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was Oliver. Olivers hand in his hair and Olivers lips. Caleb sucked in a desperate breath when he could, locking his hands around Oliver's waist. If there was one thing (besides the kissing) that Caleb could enjoy about this, that was the fact that Caleb got to scream his claim on Oliver to the world. He hated when any other person, be it girl or guy, looked at Oliver as if they had a chance with him. Oliver was his. Forever and always. Caleb wouldn't give up Ollie for the world. So damn the people and damn the children. Caleb was making out with Oliver like any girl could if they had a boyfriend (and would, considering how sexy Oliver was. It was a surprise this did not happen more often. It was a surprise Caleb didn't throw Oliver down every chance he got to make out just like this). It didn't matter that they were both men, they were grown ups and they could make their own decisions. Oliver was Calebs decision. Caleb's hands moved lower, near the hem of Oliver's shirt, fingers desperately wanting to sneak under the fabric there. It was the first time in this sort of situation that Caleb didn't pull away from the kiss first. That, in itself, was an achievement. “Mmm,” the sound could have been an acknowledgement to Ollies words or anything else. He let his eyes lay close as Ollie rested his forehead against his. Breathing Oliver in, Caleb realized how lucky he was. How lucky he was to have this man sitting here in his lap. How lucky he was to be here. How lucky that Oliver loved him back. The stupidest smile had spread over Caleb's face. He suddenly didn't care about the people here, he never wanted to move. If he could just sit here and hold Oliver forever, he would be happy. But of course, they had forever and a day to be together like this. As long as Caleb had Oliver, he would be happy. The carnival was one of the best things about Caroline. The small town didn't offer much year round. You would expect that for a small town a carnival would be lame. This was one of the best Caleb had seen. It might have been coming from a boy who only lived in three separate places and been to exactly one other carnival then this, but it mattered. The carnival had changed little since he was small, but Caleb was sure that this made him love it more. There were so many memories here. He could remember going here with Oliver when they were friends and feeling so awkward. He wanted so badly to impress Oliver, yet at the same time he was sure they would be nothing more than friends. This time would be much better, he was sure of it. Caleb opened his eyes as Oliver climbed of his lap, feeling his cheeks grow warm from the people he could see staring at him. Oh yes, people in Caroline still cared very much about boys like him and Oliver. Caleb would die protecting his boyfriend from them. Instead, though, he looked at Oliver and gave him an over enthusiastic smile. “Oh. Yes. Thank you so much Ollie, what would I do without you,” his voice was flat as he rolled his eyes, a smile still on his lips. God, Oliver, what led Caleb to having such a perfect boyfriend like this? When Caleb was small, he would go to the carnival with his parents. But more for the games and lights then for the rides. The rides always made him uneasy, seeing the peoples screaming faces. Caleb worried the rides would break, it happened all the time. The rides were usually too fast and too terrifying to ride. Even now, they made Caleb scared. He had Oliver though, and his Ollie bird made him feel better. Sometimes he could actually enjoy the rides, stepping of them with something like a smile on his face. Not without the usual freakout, of course. He would still go on the rides with Ollie though, because he would do anything for his boyfriend. “I dunno. What do you want to do Ollie bird?” he questioned, fingers linked with his boyfriends. “I could go win you a stuffed giraffe from the games,” he mused, tipping his head to the midway. “Or we could go on a ride,” this option Caleb approached with a little more trepidation. He looked up at a ride near them, some spinning contraption of doom, no doubt. He would board that death machine for Oliver though, anytime.	[atrb=width,140] words , 963 tagged , ollie bird! notes , writing this makes me so happy i am so excited outfit , clicky!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time Oliver was never one susceptible to remaining inside of social norms. That was obvious from the first time you met him. He wasn’t afraid of people talking about him or making fun of him. He lived on top of the world, and he was going to dress how he wanted, walk and talk how he wanted, and love whomever he wanted. Even in middle school, when kids were the most judgmental, Oliver would put on his eyeshadow, draw birds on his cheekbones, and strut about in his high heeled boots and paisley button downs and feel damn good doing it. The resounding chorus of ‘faggot’ and ‘queer’ that resonated after he asked out a boy didn’t phase him, and sometimes he rather liked the attention it brought him. He liked being different and breaking what society set up as the rules. And he supposed that it might be this nature that made him love carnival rides the way he did. It wasn’t natural for humans to move the way they could on rides like this. He could overcome the force of gravity and experience weightlessness and fall towards the ground a hundred times without getting a scratch. The danger, of course, was ever present. Oliver knew that from the hundreds of times his parents and boyfriend had warned him about the world. But Oliver overcame it every time, always emerging on top. Eventually, in regards to rides like those here, things would catch up to him, and the resulting motion sickness would remind him that he was still human. That, however, was merely one more obstacle to conquer. Caleb never saw it like that, Oliver knew. The older man was painfully aware of his own humanity and was not willing to push against the forces that were so much bigger and stronger than he was. Oliver didn’t understand why he didn’t begin to trust himself after nothing happened every time, but that was just how Caleb was. If Caleb was afraid, then Oliver would just have to make sure he was there to protect his boyfriend. And that didn’t bother him at all. They relied on each other this way all the time. Caleb was the shoulder to cry on and the arms to hold him together when Oliver was falling to pieces and Oliver was the pill to calm nerves and the seat belt that could keep him out of all harm. They completed each other. They always seemed to know what needed to be said to fix everything, if anything needed to be said at all. And Oliver loved it. However, even though he knew he could keep Caleb safe no matter what, he also loved the idea of a stuffed giraffe. Particularly one won by his boyfriend. Maybe later the giraffe could help him protect Caleb from gravity. “Giraaaaaaaaaaffe,”

[/color] he said, drawing out the word to express his enthusiasm. “Yes. Do that.”[/color]

Really, it was just was nice to have found a boyfriend who embraced the fact that Oliver was twenty-two years old and still completely a child most of the time.

Relationships in the past were all so...messy. When he wasn’t breaking up with someone because of a lost interest (which happened far more times than he was willing to admit), the other person usually had some sort of problem with him. He was ‘too gay’ or ‘too childish’ or not a good enough kisser. (That last one was a killer--he really had no natural talent at all. Luckily Caleb had been willing to work with him.) He hated being broken up with, and he’d cried over his fair share of broken hearts, but ultimately he didn’t mind anymore. If he hadn’t broken up with all of the others, then he’d never have Caleb. Sometimes, when Caleb was at work and Oliver was home alone, Oliver considered calling up some of his exes and thank them for finding stupid things that were wrong with him and deciding that they were suitable reasons to end a relationship. Thank you for being too picky, because now I’m happier than I ever could have been with you.

Being with Caleb just made so much sense. People always talk about how when you’re in love you’re supposed to just know. Oliver could never wrap his head around that, until he’d woken up one morning and realized that he just knew. Just like how he knew now that he’d be able to keep Caleb safe from rides breaking down and that a stuffed giraffe would help him in that endeavor.

“Do you remember the first time we were here together when you accidentally hit that guy in the face with the ball you were supposed to be knocking the bottles over with?”[/color] Oliver asked, stroking Caleb’s hand with his thumb as they walked. “I probably shouldn’t have laughed as much as I did. But you should’ve seen your face.”[/color] Caleb always did make the best expressions. As if Oliver needed more reason to be completely infatuated with him.

And of course, the boy just had to be wearing his glasses today, which was icing on the metaphorical cake of sexual tension. Oliver didn’t know why they even bothered to go out anymore when they could just stay in and be all over each other. But they did, so Oliver supposed he’d just have to settle for the little things, like making out on a bench.

At least he’d get a giraffe out of it. Provided that Caleb didn’t hit someone in the face again.[/div]

Words: 956 Notes: idk what even happened with this post it's all rambly but still cute i guess. Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] Ever since Caleb was little, he never acted like much of a child. Even in his young years, when imagination and wonder were the meaning of life, he was surprisingly down to earth. Caleb honestly worried to much to ever be a kid. When he was little his little mind wouldn't worry about death, but he did not like worrying his mother. It may have seemed impossible, but his mother worried worse then Caleb did. When Caleb got hurt and his mother would come rushing to his aid he would shoo her away and tell her he was fine, even if he wasn't, because it made him feel guilty. He didn't like seeing the look on her face when Caleb was sad. It didn't help he was an only child, the only thing his mother could spread her endless love and worry on. He never broke the rules, never got himself in danger, all for his mother. He did the best he could in school and at his job for his mother. It made him feel warm inside, to see her smile and her words of pride. He could remember once he had made his mother cry. He'd been a teenager and had said something harsh to her (as many teenagers go through a point in time where they will inevitably hate their mothers) and she'd cried. He would never forgive his mother for this. So Caleb spent his young years by his mothers side, never taking chances. It just wasn't his nature. In high school, he worried about kids bullying him. So he tried his very best to blend in, and he was good at it. Being normal wasn't too far of a stretch from his real personality. Being normal and straight though, that one was tough. Only Calebs best friend through high school knew he was gay. Luckily, most girls thought he was shy, whenever he denied wanting to go out with them. He was too cute and too sweet for them to think he was an ass. Besides, the only person Caleb wanted to date – then or now – was Oliver. Ollie and Caleb were so entirely different, to look at the basics of it. Caleb always wondered why a boy like him would date an old man like him, figuratively. Caleb was grounded, down to earth, responsible. Oliver was free spirited, lively and outgoing. This was why they worked though. Their personalities were near polar opposites and it brought them together. Caleb was an anchor to keep Olivers feet on the ground, and Oliver was the wings that kept Calebs heart in the clouds. They complemented each other perfectly and had enough in common. It was a delicate balance, but these two managed it. If soul mates existed, Caleb believed he had found his. “Oh, oh good lord” Caleb laughed, his face going slightly red. He'd forgotten about that. He was pretty sure that day was blocked from his memory for the many embarrassing things he had done. But now that he thought about it, he knew he remembered it in excruciating detail. “That poor man. I still feel bad for that,” Caleb shook his head. He wasn't good at carnival games, but who was? They were all rigged for the customers to lose. “Let's just stay away from that game this time around,” he laughed, leading Oliver through the people at the carnival. He needed to figure out what game he could win, because he was determined to get Oliver a giraffe. It would give Ollie something to snuggle when Caleb was gone. Caleb couldn't help but smile at that thought. What game could you be sure to win though? Just the duck game, where plastic ducks floated around a pond and you picked one up and whichever letter was on the bottom dictated what prize you would get. Caleb needed to do something better than that. He spotted a large giraffe hanging from the roof of one of the games tent and immediately started pulling Oliver after him in that direction. “What do you think of that one Ollie?” Caleb asked Oliver, as they stood in front of the tent. Caleb looked at the game, a small smile appearing on his lips. Easy. It was one of the games with guns, where you had to shoot out all of the star in the centre of a small piece of paper and you would win. One of the harder ones with giant prizes hanging from the ceiling	[atrb=width,140] words , 757 tagged , ollie bird! notes , this post is so short and not that good but there is nothing i can do with it so there outfit , clicky!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time As touchy-feely as Oliver was, he had never really been able to understand why people in relationships found it necessary to spend all their time together draped around each other. He’d seen a lot of that in high school--guys walking the halls wearing their girlfriend like a coat, as if hey couldn’t even support their own weight. It looked trashy and made the girl seem desperate and clingy and, as much as he hated to judge, knowing what it felt like to be on the receiving end, he vowed to never stoop to that level for anyone. He thought too highly of himself for that sort of thing. He refused to he clingy and desperate. And maybe it was just because he’d never been in love before, but until Caleb, he’d never wanted to go back on that promise. Since he’d started dating Caleb, though, he took everything back. He understood now: love was the constant need to be closer. Oliver realized now where the talk of Oneness came from in that regard; there would be nothing more perfect than if they could break the scientific laws preventing matter from occupying the same space. Oliver felt as though that was something that could be achieved, if only he could get closer to Caleb. Holding hands wasn’t enough, wasn’t near enough, and so eventually he found himself walking at Caleb’s side, one arm intertwined with his boyfriend’s, fingers woven together, his other hand holding Caleb’s arm just below his shoulder, which kept Oliver close enough to steal kisses as they walked. Overall, it gave him the feeling of being a baby koala, desperate to hold on to the tree he was asleep in. Years before, he never would have accepted the site of himself there, and now there was nowhere he’d rather be. Things change when you fall in love. There were so many things to love about Caleb that Oliver couldn’t dream of ever consciously listing them all. But he didn’t need to list the reasons, really--he lived them in every moment, waking or sleeping. They were in his every breath, every heartbeat, every second he spent waiting for Caleb to come home from work, every small movement to close the distance between them. Oliver loved every hair, every freckle, each and every one of Caleb’s teeth. He loved his laugh and the softness of his skin and the way his eyes could make him forget the year. It was consuming and complete and somehow felt simple and complex at the same time. There was little sense to be made of it, but that was irrelevant. You don’t need to understand love. You just feel it. All that mattered was that Oliver loved Caleb entirely and eternally. He loved the red that flooded Caleb’s face at the mention of the incident two years ago. The embarrassment was adorable; Caleb was the only person that Oliver knew that could physically start blushing over something that happened years before. Oliver kissed his boyfriend’s cheek and felt the warmth from the blood filling it before responding. “I wonder if carnival people hold grudges,”

[/color] he mused, after Caleb mentioned avoiding the place. “At any rate, I’m sure the bruising only lasted a few days. A week, at most. So no big deal. He’s had worse, I’m sure.”[/color]

When Oliver was little and even more childish than he still was at twenty-two, the carnival always set his imagination running free. He always tried to think up the secret life of the people that travelled from city to city to run rides, rig games, and sell food. There had been a thousand different drafts of this fantasy, but eventually he had decided that not only did they have an exclusive coven of carnival employees, but they were involved in all kinds of underground activities: fight clubs, mafia, prostitution, the works. There had been one summer where this fantasy had been so elaborate and he believed it so fully that he was terrified to stand too close to these people, for fear of being forced into all of it. He had told Caleb about this a year ago when they’d been here last, the first time they’d been here as a couple. He would’ve told him before, when they were still just awkward friends, but that first year he’d been too afraid of scaring Caleb away. Oliver hadn’t expected much to come of the relationship, but he liked Caleb’s face enough to want him around as much as he could have him. If Caleb remembered the incident with the ball, though, Oliver hoped that he’d understand the remark about the man having experienced worse. Obviously, when you’re involved in underground fight clubs, you’re bound to have worse bruising.

They kept walking as Caleb sought a suitable prize to win for his boyfriend, finally stopping in front of a shooting game. There, dangling from the overhang, was an immense stuffed giraffe. “Callie, it probably weighs more than me,”[/color] he pointed out seriously. “It’s like half my height but twice as wide so probably that evens out.”[/color] None of that mattered to him, of course. He wanted the giraffe.

“Careful to only shoot the star, Callie Bear. No more injuries,”[/color] Oliver teased, letting go of Caleb’s arm so he could pay the man running the game and eventually start playing.[/div]

Words: 925 Notes: i hope i didn't kill you with fluff Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] Caleb always thought he knew what love was. He thought h knew what it felt like to be in love, to be loved, to be so consumed by this feeling it took over his whole world. He told boys he loved them before with complete conviction. He bared his soul and his heart for boys before. And maybe then he was in love, but now that he was older, now that he knew more, he knew different. That was not love Caleb felt that he had not en in love then, he had merely been in love with the concept of being liked by a man. He'd been infatuated because a boy would give him the time of day. Caleb could remember when he would get a crush on a boy when that boy simply looked at him for too long. He would create elaborate stories in his head about how they were secretly crushing on him and one day they would come up to him and ask him out and they would be beyond perfect together. What he didn’t think was they never looked twice at him, never thought twice about him. Any time any boy gave him real attention, he'd fawn and fall over backwards for them. His heart was so weak. He thought he'd been loved before, thought the men he'd been with had cared for him. Was it really caring though, when they cheated on him? When they acted like they didn't even care? Caleb had felt like his heart had been broken and torn before, and when he'd got back to Caroline he had thought he was done with relationships. He didn't want to look for his prince charming anymore. He was tired of falling and eventually crashing. However, that was exactly the time Oliver had come around. Oliver had been a cure, a balm, to what Caleb thought was a broken heart. From all the times he'd been used and abused. And maybe he carried a little of that around, this wounded pride he felt didn't matter when it really did. But Oliver's love, Calebs love for Oliver, it was so whole and complete. It turned the world on its axis and stole Calebs breath away. He didn't know what he'd felt before, but it wasn't this. Even without words Caleb knew Oliver loved him, from the actions that he portrayed to the very way Ollie looked at him. Even before that fateful day when Oliver had told Caleb he loved him in his carefree way, Caleb knew, in a sense. He could see it in his eyes and his smile and though he couldn't be sure, a tiny part of him knew. And he'd never experienced that before, that sureness without oral acknowledgement. With his past boyfriends he had waited for them to say the words, pleaded them to say the words in his head, worried they weren't honest (which they weren't). With Ollie, Caleb didn't have to worry about Oliver saying 'I love you' first, because Caleb knew that if he said it to Oliver, there was no chance Ollie would not say it back in a heart beat. And that was love. The memories and times Caleb shared with Oliver was another thing he loved. There were so many days and hours and moments and each was precious Even if in ten years time these would blend together, all that mattered was that he still had these memories. And the certainty that in ten years he would still be with Oliver. In the past Caleb had thought maybe the relationship would last a year, hoped for longer. It always ended though, and Caleb could feel that it would. He might have been crazy or in love but his heart and soul told him this would last. And when Oliver mentioned something and Caleb understood the hidden nuance behind it and could laugh, his heart warmed a little. Because Oliver was crazy. He had such a wild imagination, but it was still amazing. “Oh, right, because of all the underground fight clubs these guys participate in,” Caleb teased, nuzzling his nose into Olivers hair. What Oliver didn't know was Caleb's father was a hunter. Well, Ollie had heard stories. Caleb's father had hunted more in his youth, still went out sometimes in the fall. The Ierie's had a giant deer head hanging in their living room from one of his trip. Caleb had never told Ollie about when he was younger, his father had taught Caleb how to shoot. It had been 'father-son bonding'. Caleb wanted to be close to his dad, so he'd agreed. It scared him at first, shooting a gun, but he needed to impress his old man. Slowly over the months Caleb got better and better. He may have not been able to throw a baseball straight, but he knew he was an excellent marksman. So when he picked up the gun after paying a smirking worker the money for the game, there was no doubt in his mind. “Don't worry Ollie bird, you'll get your giraffe and no one will go to the hospital,” he said, placing the rifle against his shoulder. The shots went of in quick succession, Caleb lowering the gun to squint at the target through his glasses. One tip of the star showed in the upper corner, the worker grinning at Caleb wickedly. “Let me try that again,” he grumbled, digging for his wallet. The gun had thrown him off, he needed to get used to it. If he didn't win his boyfriend something from this game, he felt he would have failed miserably as a man. After the second try, Caleb dropped the gun to see the star had finally disappeared. He huffed, pointing out the giraffe to the disgruntled carnie, who had obviously hoped Caleb wouldn't win. “There you go Ollie bird,” he said brightly, taking the creature from the man. “Wait, wait, I need to see something,” he added, holding the giraffe and looking at it contemplatively. Caleb placed the animal on the ground then looked to his boyfriend. In a quick moment, Caleb had scooped Ollie up in his arms, stumbling a little forward at first. “Hmm, the giraffe definitely weighs more,” he puffed out, kissing Oliver in the spare moments he could hold him. Oliver may have been light, but Caleb was only a lawyer.	[atrb=width,140] words , 1073 tagged , ollie bird! notes , these two are beyond perfect. and awe, caleb trying to be strong outfit , clicky!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time Whenever he looked back, Oliver was amazed by his ability in the past to have functioned without Caleb. Life before this relationship had been simple enough. Doable. Survivable. He had been able to live and function on his own. These days, though, it was hard to even get out of bed without his Callie Bear by his side. The work was hard enough to suffer through, but Caleb’s business trips were practically unbearable. Not only were the two separated by miles and miles, but Caleb was constantly forced to battle his fear of flying and board an airplane, which made him physically sick, more often than not. Oliver felt endlessly guilty being stuck at home, unable to comfort him. He would have liked to hold him, kiss the fear away, stroke his hair, whisper sweet nothings in his ear... But Caleb was there and Oliver was here, and none of that could happen. At night, they’d each go to an empty bed and try in vain to sleep, but it was so hard to sleep alone, so hard to do without the warmth of someone they loved so much. It had taken no time at all for Oliver to first adjust to sharing a bed with Caleb. He liked having someone to cuddle with, someone’s arms to fall asleep in. For a while, he’d been afraid that once the newness wore off, they’d end up just going to bed and staying on their respective sides. He feared the infamous ‘goodnight kiss’ and dreaded the day when that would become their routine. But as weeks went on and they still spend the final moments of each day in each others’ arms, he slowly relaxed, realizing that this could be permanent. Maybe he had finally found someone who enjoyed being held as much as he did. It was moments like these at the carnival--the kissing on the bench, the walking so close together, the reminiscence of past time together--that made up for all the time they had to be apart. Oliver, as a child, had never invested too much time paying attention to the silly proverbs his mother was always spouting, so he never really appreciated how true some of the things she was saying could be. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, she’d say. And good things come to those who wait. Being away from Caleb made Oliver love him all the more, since it was impossible to know just what he had until it was missing from him. Every time Caleb was somewhere else, Oliver found himself longing for some new detail. He’d miss the sound of Caleb hanging his keys on the hook on the way as he came inside after work, or the way his voice sounded when he was tired. And--how could he have never noticed before?--Oliver missed the gentile brush of Caleb’s fingertips on his forehead as Caleb brushed hair out of his eyes, and he missed the sound of a heartbeat that wasn’t his own before he fell asleep. It was all the small things that were the hardest to live without. Other boys had the dazzling smile or the gorgeous eyes or the soft lips, too. While Oliver naturally adored things about Caleb, it was the small things, the features unique to his boyfriend, that really mattered. Oliver didn’t just miss his boyfriend when he was away. He missed Caleb, the man he could never manage to appreciate fully until they were apart, and then the feelings only grew stronger. In the end, though, they were always reunited. And kisses never did taste sweeter than those of reunion. But honestly, none of that mattered today. There was no need to miss anyone because Caleb was safely at his side, not on an airplane or in a hotel or even at work, and certainly not alone. Whatever separation did or did not do for their relationship, close was always where Oliver liked Caleb best. He grinned at his boyfriend’s acknowledgement of his bizarre imaginary world. It was possible that Caleb might be at least a little interested in such things, but Oliver was fairly sure the older man was just humoring him, letting him talk for the sake of talking and paying attention not out of interest, but out of love. Either way, Oliver was just glad that Caleb cared enough to remember those sorts of things. “Yes, exactly. Those fight clubs are a dangerous place. You don’t get out of there unharmed.”

[/color]

As he watched with interest while Caleb attempted to win the giraffe, Oliver was already beginning to develop a name and story for it. He had no doubt that Caleb would win for him. He had said he would, and Oliver trusted him to follow through as such. Oliver didn’t know going in exactly what level of skill his boyfriend had with guns or anything, but he was prepared to wait all day if he had to, and he wouldn’t mind one bit. He was content to just watch Caleb.

It didn’t come to that, however. Caleb seemed significantly better at shooting than he had been at throwing, and it only took two tries to make the star completely disappear from existence. After a moment of stunned silence from the carnie in front of them, (which Oliver understood completely; who would’ve thought that something like that would come from a kid like Caleb? Oliver himself had expected it to take longer than this) the giraffe was presented to Caleb. Oliver, expecting to have it then given to him, didn’t know what to think when it was then sat on the ground. His eyes followed it, and so he was completely caught off guard when he found himself leaving the ground and was scooped up into Caleb’s arms. “Callie!”[/color] he said shrilly, his arms flying around his boyfriend’s neck instinctively as he felt Caleb stagger forward. “You should warn people before you start yanking them off the ground. It isn’t nice.”[/color] But somehow he didn’t have any complaints once they were kissing again.

Once Oliver was returned to the ground and Caleb commented that the stuffed animal really did weigh more than he did, Oliver couldn’t help laughing. “I thought as much. But she can’t help it. She’s had a hard life,”[/color] he told Caleb. “I mean. She did end up as a prize in a carnival game. That must tell you something.”[/color]

Maybe it was more surprising to see that Caleb could successfully shoot out the star as quickly as he had, but, at least in Oliver’s mid, it still had to be somewhat impressive that he could come up with such elaborate histories for stuffed animals so quickly. He was quite proud of himself, at least. Nobody could’ve done a better job, in his humble opinion.[/div]

Words: 1175 Notes: oliver is literally three years old seriously Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] Caleb was a little needy at points. Boys had broken up with him in the past because of it. He didn't need much, in his opinion. He just needed a text or a call to know they were there, and talking to them in some form at least once a day was good. He thought whining over every minute spent apart was crazy, begging constantly to see the other, stalking them. He'd stayed away from doing that. He had crazy boyfriend urges, he knew he could be a lot more clingy. Yet he was still too much for some men. Growing up, Caleb had no siblings, had no older sisters to crawl into bed with when he was scared. Though he did have his parents undivided love, perhaps the absence of siblings was what made him need peoples constant comfort. He liked knowing he had someone there for him, someone he could talk to in an instant and have a smile spread its way across his entire soul. When he and Oliver first started dating, Caleb had held back, afraid to be clingy. He would worry and fret over every single text message and phone call and date and wonder how much waiting was enough. He didn't want to seem desperate, though a little part of him was. This needed to be perfect. Thing was, with Oliver, he didn't need to try and make it perfect. Caleb found the less he tried, the more perfect the two became. He discovered Oliver enjoyed talking to him everyday, and missed Caleb more than Caleb missed Oliver, if that was possible. Ollie didn't care how often Caleb texted him, called him or simply showed up at three am to cuddle. Oliver needed Caleb as much as he needed him, and thus they were two matching pieces in a puzzle. God, why was Oliver so amazing? Caleb couldn't help but stare at him sometimes, lost in wonder. He needed to remind himself Oliver was real, this was real. Often, Caleb would slip a hand around Oliver's waist or a hand through his hair or just touch his hip, a simple reminder that Ollie was still there. Like he always would be. His body felt of balance without Oliver there, he often caught himself reaching for thin air, fingers closing on the distance. Caleb needed to stop thinking about this, but Oliver consumed his thoughts so thoroughly it would be impossible. To look and see him always by Caleb’s side was still a surprise. “Well, yanno Ollie bird, I think the purpose of a fight club is to be harmed.” He loved they could banter, he loved the ease of words flowing between them. Changing subjects and flowing and evolving. Callie imagined with people you had to run out of things to talk about one day, the words would stop and you would be left with silence. When you were with someone, in love with them and you had so much in common though, it didn't matter the words. Enough happened in the world to supply a years worth of words. Ollie and him could talk about nothing and Caleb would still be happy, and they often did. Talks of what they needed at the grocery store and how the weather was acting that week were highlights of Caleb's life. Who would have expected this little gay boy in the glasses and old man cardigan to be able to shoot as well as he did? Certainly not the people around them. But who would have expected to see this old man with a boy like Oliver, who caught the innocence and insanity of the carnival so perfectly? The world was a curious place. And so Oliver was in Caleb's arms and Caleb was laughing at him lightly, placing him down gently and placing his arms around Ollies waist. Of course the carnie was looking, of course the people were, but today, Caleb didn't care. He wanted people to see him and this was very strange. As strange as it was, Caleb loved that it made Oliver happy and himself as well. He felt proud he could win this for his boyfriend and scoop Oliver up and show the world that they were in love and it really harmed no one but the poor carnie worker. Caleb rescued the poor giraffe of the ground, handing it onto Oliver. “Careful, you might not be able to carry her. What's her name?” he asked, knowing that Oliver would have without a doubt already given the giraffe one. This stuffed animal would have a royal place in their apartment. “C'mon love, tell me this sad souls story,” Caleb took Oliver around the waist with his arm, giving the carnival worker a small wave as he directed them away from the stand. The one bad thing about the giraffe was Ollie couldn't quiet cling to Caleb like before without giving the giraffe up, and Caleb was sure he didn't want to do that, as amazing as holding onto Caleb was. “We can go on a ride, if you'd like.” With Ollie here, Caleb felt about ten feet tall. Anything could be conquered. Though, looking up at the rides, Caleb's stomach sunk, his face paling.	[atrb=width,140] words , 878 tagged , ollie bird! notes , OLLIE STOP BEING SO FLUFFY YOU SLAY ME outfit , clicky!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time When Oliver first started dating Caleb, he honestly hadn’t seen them getting so close. Oliver was used to short-term relationships. All his life, that was all he’d ever had. And they were fun while they lasted but after a while it all had to come to an end. Someone would break up with the other and someone would get upset but eventually things would go back to normal and someone new would come along and that would be that. Caleb was attractive and sweet and Oliver liked him a lot, but Oliver’s taste always changed too often to stay happy with someone for a long time. And then it didn’t, and he didn’t know what to think, except that it was kind of nice. He liked having a constant in his life, someone that he could call when he was lonely and text when he was bored. Someone to visit and cuddle and tell stories and learn about. To say that he’d ever seen this coming, though, would be a lie. Falling in love took him completely by surprise. Once it hit him, it felt like drowning. Drowning in the ocean he’d spent months walking into. When he was there, he wondered how he possibly could have missed the signs. But he hadn’t ever dreamed it would be like this, never predicted that he’d find anyone so perfect for him, and especially not in someone who he’d spent his whole life so close to. Saying that Caleb and Oliver had been friends in school would have been a stretch. They were friendly, and they sometimes hung out with the same people, but Oliver had really been on a different level. Not better or anything. Just different. He was more social, more confident, had more acquaintances than Caleb did, and that set them apart. That, combined with the fact that there was always limited interaction between grade levels, made their relationship nothing more but a mutual knowledge of who the other was. At least, that’s what Oliver thought until far more recently, when Caleb had told him in his adorable and awkward Caleb way that he’d had a crush on him since middle school, which Oliver thought was the literal most adorable and flattering thing he’d ever heard, and had little to say other than how glad he was that Caleb waited for him to grow up. Of course, growing up was a relative term. It wasn’t likely that Oliver would ever really let go of his childish personality or the outlandish way he dressed or his overactive imagination or anything of that sort. But he’d matured enough to be able to handle a serious relationship, to know who he wanted the way that Caleb had always known. In the end, it didn’t matter how long either of them had waited for the other, since they’d have forever to be together, and that was what really mattered. “Well, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. So really, you hitting him in the face wasn’t really that bad.”

[/color] Oliver didn’t even know why they were talking about this anymore, since it was so pointless, but he liked that they could. Conversation came so easily between them. They could spend entire days talking on AIM while Caleb was at work and still had enough things to say to keep them up talking until the late hours of the night. Oliver loved talking and he loved Caleb’s voice and all the things he had to say, and it made him happy. Caleb could always be counted on to make him happy.

Speaking of things that made Oliver happy, an enormous stuffed giraffe was being handed to him. “Her name’s Lia,”[/color] he said, wrapping his arms around her to keep from dropping her. It made it impossible to hold on to Caleb like he had been doing before, but he didn’t mind too much. “She was born in Africa, of course, because she’s a giraffe, but she didn’t seem to fit in. ‘Cause she’s trans. And so none of the other giraffes took her seriously, since she has a boy’s body, yanno?”[/color] There had to be something wrong with him. No sane person came up with things like this and said them so nonchalantly. “She grew up feeling trapped and was used and abused and one day these carnies came and offered her a job at the carnival. But she was hoodwinked into believing she’d have a performance job, when really they just wanted to dangle her from the ceiling and use her as a prize. So she waited and waited for someone to come rescue her and love her and basically we’re the best thing that ever happened to her. So she says thank you.”[/color]

Oliver couldn’t help but notice how Caleb reacted to the sight of the rides. Part of him wanted to shy away from them and keep his boyfriend in his comfort zone, but he’d never learn to face his fears that way.

“Rides are fun. Which one do you want to go on?”[/color] he offered, figuring that if Caleb got to choose, he might be a bit less afraid, since he’d pick something milder than Oliver ever would. “And don’t worry, Lia will protect you from rides breaking down and stuff.”[/color][/div]

Words: 915 Notes: this is bleeeeeh Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] There was a saying that nothing good could last. A storm could destroy a forest, a bullet could end a life, a lie could end a relationship. Though Caleb’s life had been charmed, his numbers could be up at any moment No one could run from devastation for their whole life. Something as good as him and Oliver couldn't last. It was too perfect, too whole and complete. But Caleb often thought about the future they had together, he went to sleep with Ollie in his arms comfortable that he would wake up and Ollie would still be there, would be there for weeks and months to come. They lived together for a reason, they knew they weren't going to part anytime soon. Or ever, Caleb hoped. It was too early to be thinking of forever, but someone once said if you can't imagine yourself with the person you are with forever, then there is no point in the relationship. If you honestly thought that the two of you were only temporary, then it was obvious you didn't love them. Love compels people to want to be together, no matter what. Caleb and Oliver would be like this. Yeah, they had their problems, they had a whole load of them and they did fought. The love between them would always bring them back together though. Nothing could break them. “God, Ollie, I love you,” and it didn't matter how much he said it or when the words would never lose their value. So he had to tell Oliver constantly. Not like Ollie could forget. And it was all the little things that Oliver did that made Caleb love him more. That was possible, even if it was insane. Caleb's heart already felt like it was going to burst with the amount he loved Oliver. But then Ollie would come up with a story like this, and Caleb would fall more in love. Or be reminded of why he loved Oliver. It was the way his mind worked, it was the way he looked when Caleb came home, it was the way he fawned over pictures of them. “And I'm very glad we rescued Lia from that awful life. We understand you Lia, and we'll protect you from the carnies from now on,” he reached across to ruffle the fur on the giraffe's head. Only Ollie would make a full grown man talk to a stuffed giraffe like it was a child, or anything that could understand him. “You remember when that trans hit on me though Ollie? If Lia here tries any of that, we might not be able to let her stay in the bedroom,” he winked at Oliver. Just then he noticed a young girl staring at them jealously, and Caleb wasn't sure if it was for the giant giraffe in Ollie’s arms or the fact that Caleb had the most perfect boyfriend ever, but she could have neither. Rides are fun. Rides are fun. Caleb almost laughed. Completing a case at work was fun, going on weekend trips with Ollie was fun(as long as it didn't involve planes). Carnival rides were death traps were waiting to happen but Caleb put a smile on his face. He did enjoy the rides at the carnival, for a second. Seeing Oliver so deliriously happy helped as well. Caleb needed to face his fears. It had been a year since he'd last even attempted to ride anything at the carnival, if he went with anyone besides Oliver he wouldn't even try. He remembered the first time he'd ridden one of them with Oliver, and the boy had been so concerned when they got off. Caleb never noticed, but he had a tendency to scream like a banshee on the rides, or just sit there with his eyes closed and jaw locked. That was the one that scared Oliver the most, when Caleb wouldn't even make a noise on the ride. He'd almost fainted once getting off the rides. He wasn't even an adrenaline seeker. "That one," he spoke to Oliver, out of the blue, hitching his arm tighter around his waist. He was pointing at The Zipper. It spun fast in a circle, the little death places where the riders were contained spinning on their own. But Caleb marched them purposefully toward the ride, a certain feeling of dread hitting his stomach. As they were approaching the ride, two girls passed that had just gotten of, one saying 'Hey, did you know that thing is based off a medieval torture device'. Oh, oh that was just great. When Caleb reached the line, he turned so the ride was at his back and he was facing Oliver. "Is this one okay with you Ollie bird?" he questioned, hands petting the giraffe between them.	[atrb=width,140] words , 804 tagged , ollie bird! notes , this is more blehhhhh outfit , clicky!
[cs=2] TEMPLATE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING OF CAUTION 2.0

[oliver rhys cardinal]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 450px; height: 569px; background-image: url(http://i702.photobucket.com/albums/ww30/Panda22Panda22/poloi.jpg);  -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius:100px 100px 100px 100px; border: 3px solid #ffffff;] take me for a ride and kiss me one more time There were some things that changed Oliver’s mood without fail any time he heard them. Some of them had negative effects, for example, there was very little that could ruin his mood better than hearing about something happening to his sister. She ran away all the time, but it didn’t help to ease the blow the next time. And then there were the things that made him ridiculously happy, like Caleb’s car pulling in the driveway. Most of all, though, there were the Three Little Words. ‘God, Ollie, I love you.’ The first time Caleb had said that he loved him, it hadn’t been a surprise, because Oliver had already known, realized it through everything that Caleb ever said and did. Oliver didn’t miss the look in Caleb’s eyes when Oliver complimented him or laughed at his jokes. He noticed the little things that Caleb did that gave his feelings away, and eventually Oliver realized that he only knew what the signs meant because he felt the same way. But no matter how many times Oliver heard Caleb say it, it always gave him the same stupid giddy feeling it had the first time. He knew Caleb loved him, knew it so well that even if he never heard it again, he’d still know. He didn’t need the words to remind him. Everything Caleb did, every moment they spent together, that was all the proof he needed. But there was something about the words, something about the way Caleb’s voice sounded when he said it... It made it more real, left no room for doubt, rid the situation of any need for interpretation. “I love you too, Callie. So much.”

[/color]

And he did. He loved Caleb more than he could ever say with all the words in the world, and could only hope that he would live long enough to make up for his lack of enough words by simply telling him over and over. I love you, Caleb. I love you I love you I love you. He loved Caleb for taking care of him, for holding him as they fell asleep, for all the hugs and kisses and smiles and for making him feel like nothing bad could ever happen again. He loved him for taking him seriously when it seemed like no one else would, for being his best friend and confidant and everything else he could ever want. It was sappy and cliche and things like that were said all the time, but there was no way else to put it. Caleb was his one and only and he loved him so much it hurt.

He grinned as Caleb talked to the giraffe, glad that Callie played along and had no shame in talking to stuffed animals in public. “Lia is eternally grateful and says that she’d never hit on you because you are not a giraffe and she only likes giraffes,”[/color] Oliver said cheerfully. “So I guess you’re stuck with me, Callie Bear.”[/color]

Adjusting Lia so she sat more comfortably in his arms (her size made it rather difficult to hold her well), he leaned over to kiss Caleb again, just because. That was a perk of being in love. He didn’t need a reason.

Caleb’s fear of rides like this would have almost been amusing if Caleb didn’t react to them in such a terrifying way. It was like he was dying, and Oliver didn’t like hearing it. Worse than the screaming was the silence, though. Like Caleb was just a shell and the rest of him was somewhere less terrifying. For some reason it almost always took Oliver until they were on the ride for him to remember what it was like to know his boyfriend was so unhappy there, and he regretted it each time, but he never seemed to learn.

Today would be different. As he looked up at the Zipper, he tried to picture Caleb being on it and not completely flipping out. He couldn’t do it.

“Callie. Are you gonna be okay on there? Because we can find something else...”[/color] he offered. Caleb had issues on planes, which were much milder than the ride that was designed to make you feel like you were going to go crashing headfirst into the ground. It seemed unlikely that he’d take to this well.[/div]

Words: 750 Notes: this is pathetically short and bad ew. Tag: Callie Bear~! Outfit: :3

there can be only one mikey! of caution 2.0

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[caleb jay ierie]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] & WHEN YOU'RE LOVING ME ` I CAN HARDLY BREATHE WHEN I FEEL YOUR KISS SO HARD TO RESISTI WANNA DANCE ALL NIGHT, TONIGHTI WANNA BE THE LAST ONE YOU - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ----- love
[atrb=width,240] Of course Caleb loved Ollie and Ollie loved Caleb back. That was the thing about love, no matter what happened it wouldn't go anywhere. That was what Caleb believed anyway. Once you loved someone, they would b with you always. Even after horrible break ups and fights and acts so harsh, a little piece of them would be burrowed in your heart. You'd never forget them, never. You might be angry and guilty and scream at the world in question of why you still love them, care for them, but it's there. Even if you didn't think there was love, there was care and not enough room for actual hate. Perhaps apathy, or a certain nostalgia for how things used to be, or how they could be. But Caleb didn't have to worry about that with Oliver. He loved him so much and when he was having a hard day at work or was away from Ollie, he just had to think about him. The love would come back then and make him euphorically happy. That was all he needed, any day. “Oh that is such a torturous existence, being stuck with you forever,” Caleb joked, laughing. He could just imagine. Coming home everyday for the rest of his life to Ollie waiting to greet him with kisses. Falling asleep with Ollie in his arms, waking up with him still there. Kisses shared under the starlight and daylight and anywhere possible. Living together, perhaps getting married, adopting kids, travelling, growing old. All this sounded like such a horrible existence Seriously, though, it sounded like heaven to Caleb. The real nightmare was to be without Oliver for a day, an hour, a minute. He couldn't stand to think of a moment when Oliver wasn't going to be there. It was impossible for him to imagine this in the first place. Being without Oliver was bearable though, for the fact that he knew he would see his face again soon. It could be in minutes or in days, but that certainty was there. If it wasn't, if Caleb knew that he would never see Oliver again, well his heart hurt to think about that. So he smiled and revelled in the fact that Oliver kissed him. He was happy. Caleb's eyes swung back to the ride towering behind him, watching the cages swing over themselves and the adrenaline filled screams issuing from it. It was Caleb's worst nightmare come true, a ride that seemed to simulate a plane crash like situation without the immanent threat of death. Caleb didn't see how that was fun, feeling like at any moment you could die. He knew it had to do with endorphins and you couldn't actually die and so you felt on top of the word. It bothered Caleb that if a plane were crashing he might get filled with this adrenalin and not realize what was happening. As calming as this would be, he wanted to be aware of the things happening. He didn't want to die not thinking about Oliver. He didn't want to die not being aware. But still. He was doing this for Ollie, who he knew loved this ride and rarely got a chance to ride it because Caleb was a sissy. “No, no, it's fine Ollie. I'll have fun, I promise,” he passed Oliver a happy smile. He then took Lia gently from Ollie’s grasp, stepping closer to Oliver. If he was going to die he deserved one last kiss from his boyfriend. So Caleb placed a hand on Ollie’s waist and kissed him softly. Just as quick, he stepped away, handing the giraffe back and moved forward in the line, waiting for their turn at doom. It wasn't long before it was their turn, Caleb talking to Oliver through the line about anything but what they were about to do as a distraction. But their number was up and Caleb was following Oliver up towards the machine, hand in hand. The operator directed them to the seats with a smile and Caleb gulped. This was going to be fine. They were going to be okay. He bit his tongue to stop a whine from escaping. As the ride started and Caleb was sealed in the cage with Oliver, he already wanted to close his eyes. The space around them was far too confined and the operator had sadly informed Caleb and Oliver they could not bring Lia with them. Caleb's head almost hit the roof of the seat either way, he'd be terrified of the cage popping open if Lia was in here. Ollie gave him a brave smile before the ride began to move, jerking forward. Caleb let out a gasp, their seat jerking wildly then suddenly stopping. Was that supposed to happen? Caleb jerked his head and saw the operator loading up occupants into the last cage. That was going to be it before the ride began. Caleb couldn't close his eyes, even as the ride jolted. It was a slow start as they moved around the oblong track, Caleb's hands fixed white knuckled on the bar. Apparently this was supposed to stop him from banging his head on the steel cage and getting a concussion. The ride quickened pace and they were spinning and it was all Caleb could do to not close his eyes. He couldn't loose site of Ollie. If he closed his eyes, Ollie would be gone. His gaze was fixed determinedly forward, but he could see Ollie’s hands hanging onto the metal bars. That was all he focused on. He could hear the clank of the machine and see the world spin around him so fast he didn't know what was up. He could hear Ollie’s laughs and shouts of joy and his own silence. His own silence as the ride shook around them and Ollie screamed all the while. Caleb swallowed and the machine shook and spiralled. It almost seemed like they were flying through the air now. There was a loud clang somewhere off and a scream. Not a joy filled scream from the carnival, but the scream of someone being tortured. Someone so terrified their voice left the realm of humanity. The cage before Caleb broke open and he and Ollie were tumbling through the air, the ground approaching fast. Too fast. Caleb couldn't see Oliver anymore, couldn't hear him or smell him and it was just the ground rushing up at him and that screech. The alarm clock beside Caleb's bedside was screaming at him to wake up. He roused with a jerk. But not so much. His heart tried at that familiar tug of pain but however hard he tried he could not muster enough panic. The bed beside him would be empty. There was no one there to turn to, no one to cuddle into, no one to kiss the nightmare away. Caleb's life was worse than that nightmare. Perhaps once he would have woken up in a daze and confusion and went seeking for hands that were no longer there, but now he just rose from his bed. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, getting to his feet with not much trepidation. He tried not to look towards the empty side of the bed, but his eyes were drawn habitually towards it. Slowly Caleb walked out of the empty bedroom, socked feet padding lightly across the carpet. As he passed the closet door, his fingers brushed lightly over the red plaid shirt that hung from the door frame.	[atrb=width,140] words , 1,259 tagged , ollie bird! notes , we are the worst people to exist kirsten, i swear outfit , clicky!
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